I first met Al when he was working on the book Survivor Personality. We found that we had many experiences in common when it came to people that had great surivor skills. My world for 11 years was at residental treatment program working with children that had severe emotional issues. I was amazed that these children had such resiliency while having emotional health issues. Al and I spent many hours sharing information regarding our experiences on the subject. Al was such a gental person welling to share his knowledge and experence.

I will always be gratful for the time spent with my friend Al. Spending time with my friend has made me a better survior as I just went protrate surgeryy and chemo this past year. Thanks Al and hopefully we meet in the great beyond.

Your friend,

John Gray

Dr. Siebert touched my life by giving me the gift of acknowledgment. He was a gifted educator who was a resource for me at a time in my life when I had few other sources of hope. It was through his two websites, his books, and his articles that I learned about resilience, surviving, and thriving.

In the professional fields of psychology and education, Dr. Siebert was a pioneer who successfully blended the traditional academic world of psychology (a “hard” science) with his insights into the holistic nature shared by all human beings.

Dr. Siebert educated me, and countless numbers of other people throughout the world. Not only was he “the” expert on the psychological construct known as resilience, but he also shared insightful and practical information which he had observed from his research on stress.

After the events of September 11th, 2001, I corresponded with Dr. Siebert by email. At the time, I had lived and worked in the neighborhood of the twin towers and I was also a first responder. I had endured many crises in my life and felt lost with regard to putting these adverse events into a more positive perspective. He suggested that I write out my story so as to better process and assimilate what had happened to me. After I wrote “Journey of a Late Bloomer,” he requested my permission to add it to the other stories of survival which he had posted on his websites. It was the first time in my life I had received acknowledgement.

When I wrote a follow up story, “Getting Better and Better,” he again asked for my permission to add it to the collection of stories on both of his websites.

Dr. Siebert was the first person in my life who truly listened to what I had to say. Being acknowledged was not only healing for me, but also for the thousands of other people that visited Dr. Siebert’s websites in their own search for hope and inspiration. He expressed foresight and courage in publishing these stories of human struggle and survival in his books and on his websites.

I met Dr. Siebert one time, after he made a presentation in his role as a volunteer consultant for the World Trade Center 9/11 Survivors Network. I found him to be an eloquent, kind, and generous man. His presence is already missed. Thankfully, we will always have his words to inspire us, such as the quote below:

“No one who survives a disaster will ever be the same again. You will remain a bitter, emotionally wounded victim, or heal and be transformed into a stronger, better person.”

—-Al Siebert, Ph.D.

I first heard of Al when I read Bernie Siegel’s book Love, Medicine and Miracles. His mention of Al’s research into resiliency struck a chord with me. I had lost my mother to cancer and was wondering how to deal with the grief. I started learning about resiliency then.

Flashcut to 2005: moving to the West Coast, beginning a new life. Al’s books became my textbooks to help cope with the stress of a new environment, finding work and establishing an intimate relationship.

Fall 2006: My wife Jennifyr and I were planning to drive through Portland on our way back from Canada, where we had just finished a cruise to Alaska. I emailed Al that I would be passing through. With his characteristic kindness, he replied that we were welcome to visit that evening, adding, “We can feed you.”

Indeed he did, with a wonderful view of the river and delicious homemade ice cream (blackberry, as I recall). His wife Molly joined us, and we had a wonderful conversation, occasionally interrupted by their many pets.

I have a photo to remind me of that wonderful event. I will always remember his advice and wisdom. The work will go on.

Blessings to Molly and the Siebert family–
Andrew Williams

Al and I were in a group comprising a dozen people of dramatically different backgrounds, ages, experiences, and orientations. I was, I can safely say, the only kid in the room who knew he was gay and hadn’t admitted it to anyone but himself.

I’m pretty sure Al knew that. Hell I’m absolutely sure he knew, though neither of us talked about it. He also knew that I had a heels-over-head love crush going on for him. We never talked about that either. What we did talk about, especially on a full moon drive over the Maine “mountains” to meet our fellows at a beach party, was whether I was worth being loved by somebody stronger, smarter, sweeter, and more attractive than I was.

He’d made it clear indirectly through the interactions of the conference that he liked me. On that ride, he made it clear- my memory of his words were “You know there are a lot of things that don’t need to be talked about. Sometimes you feel things that are powerful and important and you feel them… but if you talk about them, put words on them, they get smaller. You know that, right?”

Honestly, I don’t think I did know that but I trusted it. And I do know that on that night as we met our friends and swam in the coldest fresh water I’d ever been in contact with, that I was happier than I’d ever been in my life.

In the autumn of that year, I drove to Michigan to spend a weekend with Al and his wife, Virginia. Some time later, I was attending a college conference in Lawrence KS, and I visited them in Topeka, where Al had won a place in the doctoral program at Menninger. It was not a great visit. In fact, it was devastating because while Virginia had tried to warn me, I wasn’t prepared for who Al was. I communicated with Virginia once after that, as she was returning to Ohio.

After that, my life started taking on its own complications- I started actually growing up, I think. But Al was always with me. He was the embodiment of the better part of my nature… encouraging me to be as much like Carl Rogers as my arrogant and abrasive nature could be. And there were time, I’ve been told since, when I rose to his occasion – offering kindness and even love to somebody who felt that they hadn’t earned it and maybe didn’t deserve it. Offering encouragement. Channeling Al.

I’m going to end this because I doubt that anybody is going to be interested in how excited I was to see him on Oprah, to track him online and buy a dozen of the Survivor books to donate to libraries… to live in Portland for five years wondering if I should email him and let him know what an incredible, positive impact he had on my life… how much he remains that good angel on my shoulder, how much that 18 year old kid remains alive in my essence and how much he still loves Al Siebert.

“I cannot say, and I will not say
That Al Siebert is dead. Al is just away.
With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,
Al has wandered into an unknown land
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since he lingers there.
And us-
Oh, we who yearn
For an old time step, and the glad return,
Think of him faring on, as dear
In the love of There as the love of Here
I think of Al Siebert still as the same.
I say, a dear mentor, genuine, intelligent, kind,
And compassionate and respectful and respected.
Al Siebert is not dead-
Al Siebert is just away.

Dr. Simin Saedi Wong, November 2009

Anyway, I would like to extend my condolences to his family, and let everyone know that he was very helpful to many people, including myself.

Sincerely,
Rodney St. Michael